Date: 1st February 2017 at 8:10pm
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Alex Ferguson, pardon me, Sir Alex Ferguson. A Premier League manager at Manchester United for 26 years, 38 trophies, statue outside Old Trafford, and widely considered one of the best managers to ever live. Fact.

On the contrary, Les Reed was a manager at Charlton Athletic and was sacked after seven games. No trophies, no statue, widely considered the worst manager in Premier League history…

A bit harsh, as we’ve had some shockers.

Oscar Wilde once said, “The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”

That maybe, but in the case of a Premier League manager, it’s as simple as A-B-C and purer than the driven snow.

Sir Alex Ferguson – Photo: Simon Stacpoole / Offside.

Doomed To Fail

As a Premier League manager, you’re doomed to fail.

According to the boffins at Oxford University, a Premier League manager is 95 per cent certain of getting sacked.

The same fans that applauded your arrival will be the very same fans that will spend hundreds of pounds making a banner, which will read ‘WENGER OUT’, then they will applaud the next manager and then create another banner.

Yep, this process just keeps on repeating itself. That dream of arriving at a football club winning trophies and then being waved off into the sunset with fans crying with disbelief that your leaving is just a dream.

There have been an astonishing 365 Premier League managers, with Newcastle United being the biggest culprits having sacked 22 of their bosses, Chelsea remain hot on their heels with 20, which we all know will soon be 21.

Yes, even the great Antonio Conte will be sacked once Roman Abramovich gets his yearly twitch.

Let’s not forget in May 2012, Roberto Di Matteo won the UEFA Champions league and the FA Cup, but was sacked in November of that year.

Even the great Jose Mourinho was given his P45 in 2015.

The Chop

Eleven Premier League managers got the chop last season, well 12 really, but they now use the term ‘mutual consent’ to make it sound like the manager and the board of directors amicably decided to part ways.

However, it does wonders for the outgoing manager’s reputation, “I wasn’t sacked, I decided to leave my job, it was my decision”.

The average tenure of a Premier League manager is one year two months – that’s it.

So for all those new managers entering the best league in the world with a three-year plan, you might want to revise your timetable.

Man City boss Guardiola.

Not All Doom and Gloom

Okay, enough of the doom and gloom because they don’t exactly do the job for free now do they.

According to the Daily Express, the lowest paid manager in the Premier league is Aitor Karanka with £355,000 (not to be sniffed at).

The highest paid managers (are you sitting down) are Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho, who make an eye watering £15m-a-season.

So in summary, you won’t last, you probably won’t win a trophy, you won’t get a statue or even a plaque in your name and fans will berate you. Oh, and you will grow grey hair very quickly (*cough* Alan Pardew *cough*).

But for potentially £15m-per-season, do you even care?

 
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